Forsake

Doctrine and Covenants 93:1

1 Verily, thus saith the Lord: It shall come to pass that every soul who ^aforsaketh his ^bsins and cometh unto me, and ^ccalleth on my name, and ^dobeyeth my voice, and keepeth my commandments, shall ^esee my ^fface and ^gknow that I am;

For some reason, this really spoke to me last night (i know, i should have posted it last night, but I was too lazy to get out of bed). It is kind of like a road map, and a hopeful one at that.

first, we forsake our sins. I have really thought about this a LOT over the years. It always made me feel discouraged and mad at myself because i seem to make the same mistakes over and over, and that doesn't seem like I've forsaken my sins if I keep repeating them. Last night, though, it occurred to me that maybe the Lord knew we'd make similar mistakes over and over. What He asks us to do is recognize our wrongdoing and have a sincere desire to change. I think that takes time. For different sins, I feel like I am justified in the situation (like yelling at my kids when they TOTALLY bug me), but then I am not really sincere in knowing that losing my temper is a problem--my problem. That is huge. I want to change, but I still make mistakes. I just need to make sure that I know I am wrong--not push the blame to someone else--and want to change. I don't need to be perfect right away, but I need to be constantly vigilant and diligent about wanting to change, needing to change.

In this process, I am helped by coming unto Him, admitting my faults and weaknesses, having humility, and asking for His help. He wants me to call on His name--plead with Him for help and strength. As He strengthens me, I can be more obedient (I am also choosing better things as well), and then I can keep His commandments more fully. I sacrifice my pride on the altar--He already knows my intentions and struggles--who do I think I am kidding when I try to skate by on just going through the motions. I need Him and He knows it. The thing is that He isn't rubbing my nose in my weakness--He is patting my back, telling me I can do it, and to just pick myself up again.

I can do that. Here I go, to pick myself up AGAIN, and to try AGAIN to be who I need to be. Someday I will get there. I just know it!