(This is in reply to your post below...I would leave it in the comments but I don't know if you'll see it.)
I LOVE you!!! You are an awesome mom, I know you love your kids, I can see it. Believe you me, I have had my days of wanting to walk out the door and never return. I could be happy on my own. At least Satan wants me to think that I can. Drugs, alcohol, partying, that doesn't tempt me. Taking a road trip to somewhere exciting and being on my own, that appeals to me. I'm glad you feel like you can be yourself. Me too. I think we are a lot alike. You looked really tired yesterday at YW's. I think sometimes we need a break. Are we supposed to love being mom's? If that is so, then I am a total failure. I don't think I really LOVE anything. I don't feel that passion for anything, I don't know why. Probably because I am overwhelmed and that's my fault. I stay up late and don't feel great the next day. I don't accomplish what I should and am too far behind to catch up. I am a slacker and I want to quit everything, but I won't because I'll feel too guilty. Why are we so hard on ourselves? PS, I wasn't very nice to Camden today. And then we both have to have the last word, so it gets really ugly sometimes. I swear though, he knows which buttons to push to make me go over the edge.....
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I can TOTALLY relate. I think that enjoying being a mom means letting go of control and rolling with things the way they come. For me, I also need to remind myself of the things I love about my children. It is so much easier to think about the things that make me crazy, but when I compliment them (sincerely), they really blossom. I just have to sit and think about the things I love about them. Maybe make a list and memorize it so I can remember when I am really ticked!
ReplyDeleteYou ARE worth it. You ARE a good mom. It does us NO good to beat ourselves up. Just keep trying and we'll get there. We can't give up!